Monday, December 29, 2003  

And, of course, what vacation would be complete without a fight with my mom?

I told my dad last night (when he came in to yell at me for making my mom mad) that every vacation break that I come home, my mom always manages to fasten on to some little thing that I do wrong or not to her satisfaction, and there is always a big fight. And I told him that it always makes me feel not good enough because I can't do anything right, not even get through one vacation break without setting her off. And he told me that I was mentally unbalanced to be thinking such things.

Then I told my dad that they really, really hurt my feelings when I brought home a bunch of my baked holiday stuff for them to eat because I was being nice and wanted to show them how good a cook I could be, but instead, they managed to find something wrong with everything I brought home. They complained that my cookies had too much butter in them, my popcorn was not crunchy, my chocolates were too sweet, etc. I told my dad that this made me feel really bad about doing nice things for them and makes me not even want to try. And then he yelled at me for being too sensitive and mentally unbalanced about the things my parents tell me. He said, "We're your parents; we're just telling you how you can improve. How would you ever know how to make yourself better when all your friends only tell you how good everything is and never tell you how to be better? Only we would tell you the truth! Everyone else would lie to you." It just makes me very sad. My cooking is very important to me; it really hurts my feelings when they find something wrong with everything I make. I don't even want to bring home anything for them to eat anymore because they seem so ungrateful and critical.

So I am "mentally unbalanced" for never feeling good enough.

j posted this at 12:35 PM.